Friday, 27 July 2012


MRS. KUFORIJI: {notices a young boy eating in the car} that’s your son? MRS. ADETAYO: Exactly. {Pointing at Dare} And I guess the little brat beside you is your son too… MRS. KUFORIJI: Exactly. {ToDare} Dobale jare. Se oo riagbalagba ni? {Dare prostrates reluctantly.} MRS. ADETAYO: He really looks like you… MRS. KUFORIJI: Baba re lo jo. You are now fat oh…you are not the toothpick we know before before… MRS. ADETAYO: {forms a smile} Hm-hm, I assume that’s a compliment… MRS. KUFORIJI: One can ‘nefa’ imagine what childbirth can do to a lady… MRS. ADETAYO: Em, how is Silifa? I never heard from her after we left secondary school… MRS. KUFORIJI: Silifa? Em… {Sighs} MRS. ADETAYO: I was told both of you attended the same polytechnic. MRS. KUFORIJI: Yes. Em, Silifa is dead. MRS. ADETAYO: What?! Are you serious? Silifa ti ku? MRS. KUFORIJI: She dead in our 300 level in accident. Itis so much pain. O dun mi gan. MRS. ADETAYO: Jesus! Silifais dead? Ah, so that was the last time I would see her….ah… MRS. KUFORIJI: That’s why we should be doing good people…this may be the last time I will see you… MRS. ADETAYO: Em, no, no…I mean…that’s not possible. I have a family that…that needs me. Ah, but I really pity Silifa. She was the prettiest girl in our class then. MRS. KUFORIJI: The most annoying thing was after she dead, we carry candle procession for am… {A group of students in black carry lit candles chanting a song. Then, they drop the candles in front of a building.} ESU president: It’s a pity we’ve lost one of our own.We pray her soul rests in perfect peace. We pray that God grants her parents the fortitude to bear the loss… STUDENTS: Amen… SALAWU: {to a male studentstanding beside her} what’s ‘fortirude’? {The male student ignores her, shaking his head.} ESU president: We will all die one day…but we pray we are not denied long life by the creator… STUDENTS: Amen oo! {The students take their leave. Salawu looks back and notices two ladies carryingbooks and trying to pick some of the candles.} LADY 1: Light no dey for school, that be the time wey some people dey waste ‘cando’ for here… LADY 2: Dem don do ‘cando’ procession for dia eyes be that… LADY 1: {Bends down and picks three candles, blows the flame off and puts them in her bags} I get book wey I wan jack; I no go turn ‘mugu’ go buy ‘cando’ when plenty dey here. LADY 2: Abi o. Make personno come ‘yafun’ money when fuel subsidy they stare at us like my grandma pikin wey get rash inside im anus. {Salawu angrily walks up to them.} SALAWU: {eyes them} E pele oh. LADY 2: {Packs four candles into her bag} Evening. LADY 1: Hope no wahala? Abi how we may take help you? SALAWU: I no talk say I need your help, greedy thieves. LADY 1: Hello…? SALAWU: My friend ‘peme’ the day wey come before yesterday…you dey thief candle here wey we light for am, abi? You dey thief dead person property, shey? {The two ladies stare at each other and burst into laughter.} MRS. ADETAYO: So, what happened next? MRS. KUFORIJI: Na that day I sabi say he no good to fight for dead person. The two girls beat me so tey… MRS. ADETAYO: Really? MRS. KUFORIJI: Dem beat mewell well. After that, dem carry plenty candle as if im be dia papa property. MRS. ADETAYO: That’s hilarious. {Looks around} Em, where is your car? MRS. KUFORIJI: Car? Em, myhusband and I dey look God eye for one oh. Na okada we get. MRS. ADETAYO: Really? And…you are sending yourchild to a private school? MRS. KUFORIJI: I know it is somehow but me and my husband believe say education na the best policy… MRS. ADETAYO: {cuts in} It’s legacy…not policy. MRS. KUFORIJI: Anyhow. But my son know book very well; he is on scholarship. MRS. ADETAYO: I see. That’s nice. MRS. KUFORIJI: {Notices hercar} don’t tell me this is your car. MRS. ADETAYO: Well, one of my cars… MRS. KUFORIJI: Are you true? It can’t be. Congrats oh. {She touches the car and her friend stylishly removes her hand.} MRS. ADETAYO: Em, my car is skin-sensitive. MRS. KUFORIJI: Hm-hm? O ga o. Dis one wey motor they detect light and dark skin colour…A ti rogo… MRS. ADETAYO: I said it is skin-sensitive…not that it detects skin complexion. {A bell rings periodically.} I think it’s time for PTA meeting. MRS. KUFORIJI: Ehn-ehn? Let my son stay with your own. MRS. ADETAYO: No problem.{To the children} Boys, stay safe and enjoy. {Dare smiles.}

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